Thought a bit of verbal humour was appropriate for the day.

A couple of months ago, the Washington Post challenged its readers to supply alternate meanings for any word in the dictionary. Some of the humourous ones included the following:

Coffee (n.): A person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted (adj): To be appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.): To give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Negligent (adj.): When you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.): To walk with a limp.

Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.

Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

LOL! Lovely stuff. :)