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Humourous Holiday Food Tips

As a diabetic, I have found that humour tends to be very helpful. I found some of these wonderful Humourous Holiday Dieting Tips for Diabetics on the net (and several on the main diabetes list that I frequent, and thought I would share them with you...


1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.

5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.

7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.

8. If you eat standing up, the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.

9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.

and...



10. "STRESSED" is just DESSERTS spelled backward <big g>

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
spross
Dec. 11th, 2007 12:47 am (UTC)
So this just goes to prove what I've been saying all along. We don't need to diet!!! ;)
jkahane
Dec. 11th, 2007 01:31 am (UTC)
Speak for yourself. ::sticks out tongue::
doc_mystery
Dec. 11th, 2007 03:46 am (UTC)
Sadly, I have patients who believe all of the above...

::B::
jkahane
Dec. 11th, 2007 04:46 am (UTC)
Sad, but true. :(

The thing to remember too is that the Christmas holidays are terrible for those who have to diet or want to diet. With the foodstuffs available, and all the "treats" amd the like out there at this time of year, it's hard.
tcpip
Dec. 11th, 2007 10:17 am (UTC)

My (diabetic) partner wants to believe, but she's an intuitive atheist..

(Which does make avoiding Christmas feasts a little easier)
jkahane
Dec. 11th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
Believing in stuff like this is dangerous, especially to one's health.

The problem isn't avoiding Christmas feasts and the like, it's having the willpower to control what, if anything, one eats at said feast.
tcpip
Dec. 12th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
Oh caseopaya has willpower... Except for chocolate :-)
jkahane
Dec. 12th, 2007 03:42 pm (UTC)
Well, come on now, *no one* can resist chocolate! :)
lynne_h
Dec. 11th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
Ah, you forgot my mother-in-law's favourite:

If its buy one get one free, the free one has no calories.
jkahane
Dec. 12th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
You're right, I did forget that one.

In some ways, that's the most insidious of all.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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jkahane
John Kahane

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